Every year, as we transition into the New Year, I am not one to set out with an arsenal of New Year’s resolutions clenched in hand per se. Having said this, the turn of the year for me (like many) is always a time of reflection – a time to consider the year’s victories, appreciations and learnings. As well, it is a time to envision the life I wish to continue to create and the changes I would like to make happen.

As I was playing backgammon with my father during my holiday visit, the juicy words “FEELING GOOD!” kept reverberating within – almost as a sweet reminder to keep growing this habit (or perhaps, rather, this way of being) unabashedly. Then, just the other day, at a NIA dance class, the instructor echoed this prompt when she proclaimed the words, “Source Pleasure!” And so, this blog is devoted to a very significant topic: the savouring and celebration of moments of sheer good-feeling, fun, delight!

As a child of hard-working immigrants, I grew up with the unconscious belief that life is hardship. Various societal messages of “no pain, no gain” also reinforced this perception. Don’t get me wrong: my parents were loving and I had lots of good times growing up. But the underpinning belief that I, somehow, unconsciously learned is that life is suffering, and it is only through suffering that one truly grows.

Back during my counsellor training days, I first came across readings by a number of key players in what is called the field of positive psychology – or the scientific study of human flourishing. They rocked my world, affirmed what I already knew, and encouraged me to continue to engage in practices that helped me to shift from a mental stance of expecting suffering to flourishing. And my practices – such as singing, ocean-walking with friends, gratitude – had me understand on a visceral level that creating experiences that bring joy and nourishment not only feel good, but they are truly  an investment in my well-being and those around me.

Frederickson, a pioneer researcher in Happiness, has these wise words to say:

“The old story is that anything that feels good is mere distraction – trivial, inconsequential, and therefore expendable. The new story – backed by science – is that these same good feelings, activated through natural and ordinary means, are the active ingredients needed to produce an upward spiral toward flourishing. Whereas the old story leaves people feeling guilty when they “take time” for something that makes them feel good, the new story can give people the courage to cultivate, protect and cherish moments that touch and open their hearts.” (Positivity, pp. 29-30)

She goes on to explain how our brains are designed, since back in the caveman days, to focus on threat for survival’s sake. So nowadays, we still have a well-developed “negativity bias” which lead us to put our weighted attention on the “negative” in our lives. For example, at the end of the day, we might dwell on that one unpleasant conversation we had in the grocery store rather than the glorious day as a whole. Furthermore, positive emotions like joy, awe, and interest tend to be more subtle and fleeting than negative emotions. And so, we need to regularly create more positive-feeling moments to help us to counterbalance our tendency to focus on the more unpleasant elements in our daily lives and develop a deep reserve.

In other words, allowing oneself to “play” – particularly during times of tremendous stress and potential upheaval – is a wise choice to make. According to Frederickson, here are some benefits to practices that nurture positive emotions:

• They feel good
• They broaden our vision, opening us up to see possibilities and the bigger picture
• They bolster resilience
• They enhance physical, emotional and psychological well-being
• They rewire our brains and, over time, change our default setting from a focus on the “negative” to the “positive”

While I am a staunch believer in the importance of being mindful and honouring of all of our experiences (the so-called good, the bad and the ugly), I also believe in prioritizing practices that enhance feelings of positivity and deepen connections to myself and all that is a part of the web of life.

So, 2017: I invite in more backgammon, song and heart-connecting adventures! 

I also invite you to take a few moments to scan your day and recall a pleasant experience you had, even fleeting, like friendly words exchanged with a passerby or a glimpse of an otter bobbing up and down in the ocean waves. Where were you? Who were you with?  What had just happened? As you relive this experience, let the feeling grow. What other such experiences do you wish to create in the days to come?

Here’s to sourcing pleasure, upward spirals and a year ahead studded with good-feeling moments.

And here’s a great article written by Fredrickson, which expands upon the benefits of positive emotions.